I am repeatedly and pleasantly surprised by your approach to the change in your life and the very positive, healthy, beautiful and life-affirming things you are discovering in... sshhhh, I"ll whisper it...religion. I have found a similar path in an unexpected way. I've spent years looking at our dive into mental illness and the loss of psychological well-being pervasive in modern culture. Common mental illnesses are increasing in frequency or severity in industrialized societies. There is much to say about this but one thing is that we have pulled ourselves out of the ground by the roots of culture, connectedness to others, simplicity and a sense of possible transcendence along with the value systems all these things carry. This is not a direction I have lived my own life but have always craved in one way or another. Much of the heavy lifting here is done by religion and I just do not see a replacement. This is not to say that there are not happy, virtuous, non-religious people; just that it's hard to be one. How to marry this to the freedom, openness and progress (social and technical) of modernity is the question of our era.
Jews historically have not only been disposed to wanting a future for themselves as individuals but also for their community and culture because we share a fate whether by design or by accident. In the aftermath of the Holocaust, the ultra-orthodox survivors focused on rebuilding their lives through marriage and childbirth even when some of the decisions made about particular people violated religious laws. [this is a little known part of how they did rebuild their numbers in Israel after WWII]
Israel has a very high fertility rate (3.0). Even among the secular population it is common to have 3-4 kids. I can’t think of another modern country with similar figures. I always wonder whether it has to do with the tradition or the culture and the feeling of rebuilding a nation after exile and the holocaust. It’s an interesting question. Judaism does put a lot of emphasis on kids and generational transcendence through kids but i think there’s more to it than that.
On a personal level I think having kids is the biggest change in your life. Your life changes in ways you cannot comprehend beforehand. Me and my wife knew we wanted to have kids but this change and the loss of freedom scared us. But we also did not want to be in our mid 60 by the time the kids leave the nest.
Maybe you loose some freedom but you gain so much more. The NYT article describes it so much better than I ever could. It gives you new meaning and the array of emotions you experience is overwhelming. The anguish and helplessness of seeing your kid sick and the irrational joy and pride when it takes a it’s first step or brings you a doodle. Best of luck with your attempts!
I am repeatedly and pleasantly surprised by your approach to the change in your life and the very positive, healthy, beautiful and life-affirming things you are discovering in... sshhhh, I"ll whisper it...religion. I have found a similar path in an unexpected way. I've spent years looking at our dive into mental illness and the loss of psychological well-being pervasive in modern culture. Common mental illnesses are increasing in frequency or severity in industrialized societies. There is much to say about this but one thing is that we have pulled ourselves out of the ground by the roots of culture, connectedness to others, simplicity and a sense of possible transcendence along with the value systems all these things carry. This is not a direction I have lived my own life but have always craved in one way or another. Much of the heavy lifting here is done by religion and I just do not see a replacement. This is not to say that there are not happy, virtuous, non-religious people; just that it's hard to be one. How to marry this to the freedom, openness and progress (social and technical) of modernity is the question of our era.
Jews historically have not only been disposed to wanting a future for themselves as individuals but also for their community and culture because we share a fate whether by design or by accident. In the aftermath of the Holocaust, the ultra-orthodox survivors focused on rebuilding their lives through marriage and childbirth even when some of the decisions made about particular people violated religious laws. [this is a little known part of how they did rebuild their numbers in Israel after WWII]
Love your writing as always.
Israel has a very high fertility rate (3.0). Even among the secular population it is common to have 3-4 kids. I can’t think of another modern country with similar figures. I always wonder whether it has to do with the tradition or the culture and the feeling of rebuilding a nation after exile and the holocaust. It’s an interesting question. Judaism does put a lot of emphasis on kids and generational transcendence through kids but i think there’s more to it than that.
On a personal level I think having kids is the biggest change in your life. Your life changes in ways you cannot comprehend beforehand. Me and my wife knew we wanted to have kids but this change and the loss of freedom scared us. But we also did not want to be in our mid 60 by the time the kids leave the nest.
Maybe you loose some freedom but you gain so much more. The NYT article describes it so much better than I ever could. It gives you new meaning and the array of emotions you experience is overwhelming. The anguish and helplessness of seeing your kid sick and the irrational joy and pride when it takes a it’s first step or brings you a doodle. Best of luck with your attempts!