I'd like you to know that this endeavor of yours is deeply appreciated. Sometimes, it takes a Jew by Choice to reacquaint the rest of us with the beauty and value of our heritage. Thank you for this gift, and Shabbat Shalom.
I go back and forth in my observance of Shabbat. This made me miss that feeling of entering that other worldly feeling of quiet and peace that only comes with Shabbat. It’s so hard during Covid bc we can’t have friends for meals like we normally. I have 2 toddlers and being stuck inside with them all day drives me crazy. Plus, work has been so mad that I’ve been working after Shabbat starts and checking email on Saturday. Anyway, just wanted to say this really inspired me to recommit.
Pre-covid, Friday night dinner and shul was the centre of my social life. Adjusting has been weird. Unplugging is hard, being alone with your thoughts is hard. I totally feel you! I think I became religious because of a fundamental desire to feel less alone, but the irony is that during Covid, Shabbat (and living alone) has never made me feel more isolated and lonely. If you can spend time with other people, do it, because that's what we're supposed to do. When that's not possible: books, walking, learning, and food. I also suffer from the desire to read about bidets and whatever random thing I'm interacting with. Being shomer shabbos turned me into a magazine reader. Like the whole magazine. Otherwise I flip between a bunch of books I have around because I can't concentrate on one thing. Something old (a literary classic?!), something new (a graphic novel!!!!?), something borrowed (a Goop cookbook I stole from my mom??!) and something Jew (Soloveitchik, Steinsaltz, Sacks, Kaplan or Heschel??!!??).
Eventually you get used to it. You'll look forward to putting away your devices. You'll look forward to the flow of your own undistracted thoughts. Don't put too much pressure on yourself! Thanks for writing all this out. Looking forward to following along on your journey.
Before Covid, I observed Shabbat much as you did--inviting people to share Friday night dinner, singing zmirot, enjoying the conversation. I also found that sharing Shabbat with people who were not Jewish or who had never had the experience a joy--it brought another dimension to the experience because the conversation was different.
Having gone through conversion myself a couple of years ago, it’s hard to describe the way I felt reading this! It makes me very emotional and I am so grateful for this peek into your experience and truly appreciate you sharing. Shabbat Shalom!
As a Protestant, I think we would do well to look to our spiritual fore-bearers and attempt to recapture the spirit available to all in their wisdom. I enjoy reading about your journey and look forward to more.
Hi Nellie, I just discovered this newsletter and it’s wonderful. About books—I’m sure you already know these authors, but I would point you toward David Grossman’s To the end of the land and Nicole Krauss’ a history of love. Each guaranteed to transport you for a full Shabbat, you’ll forget the existence of the internet. :)
Hi Nellie! I’m in the process of converting, too! Thank you for opening up your substack. I’m doing zoom with my rabbi for conversion and miss having others in the same boat. I love Shabbat, but since I work in a SARS-CoV-2 research lab, my rabbi has said to focus on getting research done to save lives. I do the best I can.
But let me tell you how badly I miss a full Shabbat. 25 hours of glorious peace. No work. No classes. No screens. Dinner with my beautiful Israeli friends. The singing. The prayers. The handwashing. I’m so tired of Zoom shul!
For books, I adored The Chosen. I read it one sitting on a random Shabbat. I rarely read fiction, but this has now become my favourite novel ever.
I also recommend anything by Dani Shapiro. I don’t know that I have words to describe how intense her memoirs are. Slow Motion and Devotion are beautiful. She writes so beautifully about her experiences.
Also, I loved the Jonathan Sacks intro about prayer in the Koren Sacks Siddur.
I know this is cheesy but I'd never seen "Fiddler on the Roof" and so when I noticed it on Netflix I decided to investigate. The song "Sabbath Prayer" is so powerful and awe-inspiring; I'm sure there's a clip on Youtube somewhere.
Anyway, my particular Christian denomination studies a bible lesson first thing every morning, to be read with no outside distractions (TV, phone). While this takes up only an hour--I frequently have to discipline myself to stay focused. So in a small way, I know how you feel.
BUT the payoff is huge: the rest of my day goes so smoothly it's remarkable! And on those rare days when I skip my morning prayer session, something feels "off" and my thinking gets messy.
May I suggest reading the Psalms to fill some time? Even though the Psalmist can be a major whiner at times, overall the Psalms can be incredibly cleansing and comforting.
Quite a nice read. The Shabbat starting Friday night thing has to do with the hebrew calendar. A day starts at the night at sundown and goes until nightfall the following day. It's not Sabbath specific.
Books: anything written by Aryeh Kaplan is a great read. He wrote a number of easily readable books on basics of Jewish faith.
Movies: I found An American Pickle to be charming and perhaps a bit more respectful of tradition then the typical Jewish American film.
Quarantine made for a difficult Shabbat experience. You nailed the feelings. I always have a book that I specifically only read on Shabbat so this way I have something to get me excited as well as occupy my time on the longer Shabbat afternoons.
This was a lovely and life-giving read tonight. Thank you. I’ll be saving it and re-reading. The paragraph about building cathedrals and building monuments in time is stunning.
This was a hard post. It contained the most difficult parts of religion for me. In this case, clearly Shabbat was not serving its purpose as you were more miserable not less. This frankly makes me crazy.
But it also pushed you to the dividing line between being in the world and practicing a religion, and the type of religious practice which takes you out of the world. In the latter case I feel most religion wanting to take me to a different place. To submit for sure, but then on to a place of transcendence, ultimately free of the shackles of the material world. I don't think many are expected to make it that far, but it is the path you must ultimately commit to.
How to do this and still live in the world? To love, create, grow new things, even (as in your case, Nellie) to transform yourself if you want to.
I have always felt the urge to dive in, even into Judaism, but this has kept me back (along with a few other things). It sounds like your journey is hard but rewarding so in spite of my complaining I am hoping for your success.
I'd like you to know that this endeavor of yours is deeply appreciated. Sometimes, it takes a Jew by Choice to reacquaint the rest of us with the beauty and value of our heritage. Thank you for this gift, and Shabbat Shalom.
I go back and forth in my observance of Shabbat. This made me miss that feeling of entering that other worldly feeling of quiet and peace that only comes with Shabbat. It’s so hard during Covid bc we can’t have friends for meals like we normally. I have 2 toddlers and being stuck inside with them all day drives me crazy. Plus, work has been so mad that I’ve been working after Shabbat starts and checking email on Saturday. Anyway, just wanted to say this really inspired me to recommit.
Pre-covid, Friday night dinner and shul was the centre of my social life. Adjusting has been weird. Unplugging is hard, being alone with your thoughts is hard. I totally feel you! I think I became religious because of a fundamental desire to feel less alone, but the irony is that during Covid, Shabbat (and living alone) has never made me feel more isolated and lonely. If you can spend time with other people, do it, because that's what we're supposed to do. When that's not possible: books, walking, learning, and food. I also suffer from the desire to read about bidets and whatever random thing I'm interacting with. Being shomer shabbos turned me into a magazine reader. Like the whole magazine. Otherwise I flip between a bunch of books I have around because I can't concentrate on one thing. Something old (a literary classic?!), something new (a graphic novel!!!!?), something borrowed (a Goop cookbook I stole from my mom??!) and something Jew (Soloveitchik, Steinsaltz, Sacks, Kaplan or Heschel??!!??).
Eventually you get used to it. You'll look forward to putting away your devices. You'll look forward to the flow of your own undistracted thoughts. Don't put too much pressure on yourself! Thanks for writing all this out. Looking forward to following along on your journey.
Your words emit a divine dearness. I am deeply inspired. Gratefully wishing you a sweet Shabbat
Before Covid, I observed Shabbat much as you did--inviting people to share Friday night dinner, singing zmirot, enjoying the conversation. I also found that sharing Shabbat with people who were not Jewish or who had never had the experience a joy--it brought another dimension to the experience because the conversation was different.
Having gone through conversion myself a couple of years ago, it’s hard to describe the way I felt reading this! It makes me very emotional and I am so grateful for this peek into your experience and truly appreciate you sharing. Shabbat Shalom!
I was hoping this was going to be about the joys of cholent. ;)
Movie: The Chosen
Book: Night and anything by Judy Blume
Activities: Jewish camp
But also, what I learned from my rabbi is to never call one a convert. Once they convert, they're fully Jewish.
As a Protestant, I think we would do well to look to our spiritual fore-bearers and attempt to recapture the spirit available to all in their wisdom. I enjoy reading about your journey and look forward to more.
Hi Nellie, I just discovered this newsletter and it’s wonderful. About books—I’m sure you already know these authors, but I would point you toward David Grossman’s To the end of the land and Nicole Krauss’ a history of love. Each guaranteed to transport you for a full Shabbat, you’ll forget the existence of the internet. :)
Hi Nellie! I’m in the process of converting, too! Thank you for opening up your substack. I’m doing zoom with my rabbi for conversion and miss having others in the same boat. I love Shabbat, but since I work in a SARS-CoV-2 research lab, my rabbi has said to focus on getting research done to save lives. I do the best I can.
But let me tell you how badly I miss a full Shabbat. 25 hours of glorious peace. No work. No classes. No screens. Dinner with my beautiful Israeli friends. The singing. The prayers. The handwashing. I’m so tired of Zoom shul!
For books, I adored The Chosen. I read it one sitting on a random Shabbat. I rarely read fiction, but this has now become my favourite novel ever.
I also recommend anything by Dani Shapiro. I don’t know that I have words to describe how intense her memoirs are. Slow Motion and Devotion are beautiful. She writes so beautifully about her experiences.
Also, I loved the Jonathan Sacks intro about prayer in the Koren Sacks Siddur.
Mazel tov!
I know this is cheesy but I'd never seen "Fiddler on the Roof" and so when I noticed it on Netflix I decided to investigate. The song "Sabbath Prayer" is so powerful and awe-inspiring; I'm sure there's a clip on Youtube somewhere.
Anyway, my particular Christian denomination studies a bible lesson first thing every morning, to be read with no outside distractions (TV, phone). While this takes up only an hour--I frequently have to discipline myself to stay focused. So in a small way, I know how you feel.
BUT the payoff is huge: the rest of my day goes so smoothly it's remarkable! And on those rare days when I skip my morning prayer session, something feels "off" and my thinking gets messy.
May I suggest reading the Psalms to fill some time? Even though the Psalmist can be a major whiner at times, overall the Psalms can be incredibly cleansing and comforting.
Quite a nice read. The Shabbat starting Friday night thing has to do with the hebrew calendar. A day starts at the night at sundown and goes until nightfall the following day. It's not Sabbath specific.
Books: anything written by Aryeh Kaplan is a great read. He wrote a number of easily readable books on basics of Jewish faith.
Movies: I found An American Pickle to be charming and perhaps a bit more respectful of tradition then the typical Jewish American film.
Quarantine made for a difficult Shabbat experience. You nailed the feelings. I always have a book that I specifically only read on Shabbat so this way I have something to get me excited as well as occupy my time on the longer Shabbat afternoons.
This was a lovely and life-giving read tonight. Thank you. I’ll be saving it and re-reading. The paragraph about building cathedrals and building monuments in time is stunning.
This was a hard post. It contained the most difficult parts of religion for me. In this case, clearly Shabbat was not serving its purpose as you were more miserable not less. This frankly makes me crazy.
But it also pushed you to the dividing line between being in the world and practicing a religion, and the type of religious practice which takes you out of the world. In the latter case I feel most religion wanting to take me to a different place. To submit for sure, but then on to a place of transcendence, ultimately free of the shackles of the material world. I don't think many are expected to make it that far, but it is the path you must ultimately commit to.
How to do this and still live in the world? To love, create, grow new things, even (as in your case, Nellie) to transform yourself if you want to.
I have always felt the urge to dive in, even into Judaism, but this has kept me back (along with a few other things). It sounds like your journey is hard but rewarding so in spite of my complaining I am hoping for your success.